Wherein I post to you each and every film I watched (excluding porn) during the month in question. With comments shorter than Tom Cruise and stolen pictures if you are lucky. This column will include new films but sadly it will be mostly filled with whatever my queue has delivered me, or whatever movie some girl I'm dating dragged me to or random streaming finds. And yes, it will include each time I rewatch a film, after all, how we appreciate great films changes with time.
And of course we will be using the Molo Scale (1 - 5 Molos, 5 being the best) to rate all these films -
So let's get right to it
Okay, not quite right to it...special note: This first post, comes before the end of the month, although I doubt I'll have time to watch anything before Thursday, and it includes January and February. Turns out I have yet to catch a movie in the theater this year. Go figure.
3.5 Molos COMEDYThis kind of falls into the category of "whatever film the girl I'm dating dragged me to" in the sense that it was suggested by a girl I dated. Although I watched it after we were already done dating. Damn, I'm glad I did. Sean William Scott's best roll since Southland Tales (and if you aren't familiar with that movie, go out for a drink with me and I'll convince you to give it a chance). It's a simple, lovable comedy with a shitload of comedy and hockey violence. And yes, he plays a goon, the title given to hockey enforcers. It's kind of like The Cutting Edge, except more realistic, funnier, sweeter and far bloodier. Actually, it's nothing like that movie. Great supporting from the actress who played the drummer in Scott Pilgrim and Liev Schriber.
Mission Impossible - Ghost Protocol
3 Molos ACTIONI saw this movie in the theater...I think...did I? This was a second viewing. I viewing that I started at 1:45 am, feeling awake, and a little depressed. It didn't help. But the dust storm was still pretty impressive, and the high-rise shenanigans still activated my vertigo, so it has that going for it. Okay, it's probably better than the middle 2 MI films. It does have that going for it. Decent escapism if you can stand Tom Cruises mug.
4 Molos ART FILMI finally finally saw Melacholia. Jesus Christ Lars....the first 10 minutes or so of this movie, maybe a good 15, are simply put, some of the prettiest weird art/video shots I have ever seen on film. The kind of eerie shit that needs a black box gallery, not a theater. Has Lars von Trier overly arted the hell out of this film? I say no, and I also say I can't ever watch it again, not all the way through. (although I can definitely watch the scene of Kirstin Dunst laying naked in the doom planet light) This is not a hopeful film, but damn, it's a fucking beautiful depression.
3.5 Molos ACTIONHa, Dredd, what an unexpected fun ride. The dude playing Dredd never removes his helmet and it was only a discussion of who Karl Urban (not to be confused with Keith Urban) was made me discover he's the gravely voiced Dr Bones, from the recent Star Trek. In any case, this was definitely one of the best, most fun romps form 2012. Didn't have the camp of Stallone's version, but had some smart Arnold-style one-liners instead. Good job.
The Bourne Legacy
1.5 Molos ACTIONMaybe that's too many. This movie was boring, rambling, and incoherent. Half the screen time was spent talking about Jason Bourne, who doesn't not appear in the film. Seriously, not even a flashback scene...just a bunch of photos. Wasted effort all around. 2 Molos may be generous...yeah, I'm switching it to 1.5. I'm not sure why it's even that high.
2.5 Molos COMEDYThere was a lot of opportunity wasted for all kinds of real boundary pushing humor here, but instead you have a film that watered down Seth McFarline's (sp? who cares) humor. You can smell the handcuffs of Hollywood all over this feature. Oh the jokes about plushy culture that could have been.
Attack the Block
3.5 Molos SCI-FY/ACTION/COMEDY/BRITISHA co-worker turned me onto this little fun alien invasion vs local gang in London flick, and it's a delight. Great UK hip-hop/electronic music soundtrack too. I don't know how Mike Skinner (The Streets) wasn't involved with this film...unless he was, was he? I'm not going to look it up. In any case, the creatures are a bit low budget, but that's part of the charm of this low-rent film. It's kind of like a UK version of Super 8, except less pretentious and with more heart.
1 Molo ACTION/THRILLER
This movie made me want to stab out my eyes. It's worse than The Grey. I'd say they phoned it in, but that would give them too much credit. They get 1 Molo for...for what...I guess for...I don't know, I watched the whole thing. Got to give 'em 1 Molo if I watch the whole thing, right?
2 Molos DRAMA/THRILLERSide note - Thanks for perpetuating the idea that all great artists are always successful cause there's some rich lover buying up all their work, assholes. Okay, maybe that does happen, and maybe these big hedge fund assholes really do lie and cheat and get rich doing it. But do I really want to watch this movie about it? I only picked it because everyone was so high on Richard Gere's role...Oscar talk, etc...blah blah...He does a reasonable job but the only interesting part of this movie was really the moment, the scene in the film that changes the entire game we are seeing - a sudden, well done crash. The rest of it feels like low rent Wall Street. Maybe it's just that we all know how close to reality this movie is, and reality itself is much more scary and interesting, making a film about the literal is hard to pull off. Wasted supporting effort by Tim Roth.
4.5 Molos THRILLER/ART FILMI rewatched Drive for the 3rd time last week. It's still a great, stylish, fun, smart film. It's so damn slick, too slick I think for a lot of people, but it works. Nicholas Winding Refn pulls the damn thing off. It's fantastic. I still think Albert Brooks should have won a supporting Oscar. Next up for Refn - Only God Forgives, starring again, one Ryan Gosling.
"A Bangkok police lieutenant and a gangster settle their differences in a Thai-boxing match." Ryan doesn't look quite so pretty in that poster, does he? Sounds fantastic. Then after that, he's remaking Logan's Run. Oh yeah.
Okay, there you have it. All for now.